No more long drives for me!

People, buckle in and make sure you are sitting down. Today I drove almost an hour to go on a date. I get there and I call and I text. I'm wandering around waiting. I feel bad because I had to cancel on him last week. I wait an hour. Mostly because I found a bead shop. Finally I get tired of waiting and take an hour and a half to get home because of traffic. FOUR HOURS after we were supposed to meet I get a text.

"Sorry, I was taking a nap"

WTF! I drove out there to see you. NO SECOND CHANCE FOR YOU.

Comic: The Actor and The Plan

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Comic: Texas Guy Date Two

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Comic: Texas Guy Date one

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Dating Profiles: Texas Guy

Subtitle: Dare to dream.

Age:28

Hometown: Houston

Job: Sales

Profile

Texas was half an hour late to the first date. Granted he did call. When he did show up we ordered some wine and chatted. It was lovely until a half hour into the conversation he asked me about my previous relationship. I always feel that's awkward to do before date 5. I told him we broke up because he was moving and wanted to break before he left. Then he told me about his "psycho ex-girlfriend". Which was SOOO inappropriate and awkward I wasn't sure what to do. Then the grand question: "So are you bi-sexual?"

At this point I sort of shorted out something in my head. I managed to continue but some sort of alarm was going off. I told him my profile said woman seeking man. He explained the last gal he dated said that too, but then would go out with other women. It turned into a 15 minute rant/explanation. That's not a bi-sexual issue, that's a cheater. She just thinks it's not cheating as long as it's not men. But that's a CHEATING issue. Being bi-sexual is her rationalization. After that the conversation was fairly normal but everything was done in an hour and a half.

I go on a second date. Yes I know it was dumb but unless the first date is a train wreck I chalk a lot of things up to nerves. During the course of the second date we have a series of issues.

Issue A: He's late AGAIN. Nothing is worse than being late and this time he doesn't call.

Issue B&C: He's talking about how much he fooled around with drugs and alcohol in college and so lost his chance to be a professional baseball player. I don't do drugs, and I don't feel very good about people who do more than a little smoking now and then. Especially combined with other issues He's in training again to be a professional player and all he needs to do is get his timing back. Hence the title, dare to dream. I tell him there's probably lots to think about, strategy to adjust, team dynamics to consider and the mental part of the game. He says no, all he needs is his timing and he'll be set. I don't mind dating dreamers, but that's an explosive rage of disappointment waiting to happen. No thank you! But he's adiment about it and starting to get agitated that I'm not agreeing that all he needs is his timing back. I realize I'm the most fidgety I've ever been and take my cue from my body language it's time to cut my losses and move on.

Solution

He asks how I think this is going. Does anyone sense what's coming? I tell him "Well, not so well. I think your first mistake was to ask me about my previous relationships right off the bat." He justifies doing this by Hold on! saying that it's a good indicator of future relationships. I reply that I would see the relations with friends as more telling than previous romantic relationships because it takes 2 and who you continue to choose to be with says more about who you are. I thought that was pretty insightful. He, however, is a train wreck His response is: "I hope people don't judge me by my friends, they're a bunch of smoked up goof-offs"

Now I just told you that was important to me, why would you go and do a stupid thing like that? You could have kept your mouth shut. You could have told a story about how important your friends were to you. What the hell? So I tell him I don't think I want to see him again and that I recommend in the future he not ask about previous relationships, keep his paranoia about bisexuality under his hat, and don't call me again.

He spends the next 20 minutes trying to get me to stay and convince me he was right and to keep dating him. Finally I spill my drink Outdoor table with holes that drip down and leave.

The Actors Soliloquy

A bit young and overly romantic, The Actor and I had an odd moment together.

"You'll miss me after not seeing me for a while and suddenly you will come home to see a plane ticket left for you. The location will be blacked out and it will be for a flight the next day/"

Mental notes in italics: because that's considerate to my schedule and you'll have cleared it before having me take off.

"Then you'll get on the plane not quite sure where you are going."

because the gate won't have the location on it.And you'll be in the seat next to me!

"No... and you'll land and start looking around wondering what's going on."

And you are at the airport waiting for me.

"No...And you'll see a sign and it will be our little joke. And the guy with the sign will take you to a limo.

Where you are waiting for me with Champagne!

"No...and he'll drive you to this beautiful hotel."

Where you are naked in the bed waiting for me!

"No"

Well then WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? I'm getting bored.

"There will be a dress and mask on the bed.

because I need a mask, will you get to the point already!

"And you'll follow the directions to a big hall. It's a masquerade. And you'll wander around looking for me but we won't know each other.

right, because it's not like you have THE most obvious body language ever. the only way you don't get spotted in 10 seconds is if you don't talk or make any hand motions.

"And when we touch there will be sparks"

At this point you aren't even getting and ember, will you just kiss me already!

It's not so much dating the actor as going out to see what happens.