I thought this one guy was interested in me and was just to shy to ask. He seemed interested in me during several get togethers. I read body language and in general he seemed interested. I don't think of myself as an overly stupid person. This caught me totally by surprise.
As I left the bar last night and he walked me out to my car I said, "Your friends are great but I'd like to spend some time just the two of us." He took a step back, crossed his arms and said "Well, when you say that you mean dating right? I don't know if it's the right time for us."
Now I realize women can over-analize a situation. I realize because of some of the training I've had I can be worse about it than most. I was totally unprepared for that reation.
What I was more unprepared for was my own reaction. At first I was confused. Then when he said "We can spend some time together getting to know each other" I was more confused. I said so. I'm not a sublte woman. Then as I got into my car I was upset and annoyed. I kept thinking if you aren't interest SAY SO. Don't waste your time and mine. If your feelings have changed I understand but don't (for the love of wool) try and act like you are DOING ME A FLIPPING FAVOR by spending time with me. I'm quite capable of getting dates myself. Granted, lots of them just want a piece but I don't need date charity.
Thank you for letting me vent. I'm 90% sure there's more there than I know and once some things are explained I could 180. Right now I think he resembles the Democratic Mascot.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Death and a Bartender
Last minute plans gave me a date with a bartender on his "80's night" at the bar. Won't specify bars, but nice looking place in a not as nice area of town. We aren't talking Anacostia (because Beirut looks good from there) but it wasn't Cherry Creek. Minorly sketchy. Well it turns out 80's night was 80's hip hop night. And every wanna-be gangster (or maybe really is) was there. The outfits were hysterical. But it was a bit much for me. First off I'm a rave gal, secondly I was on my own a lot since he was at the bar and that made me a Target. Capital T.
I get hungry (Quiet Everyone) and go to get us food. I get FOLLOWED by some guy all the way to my destination. Thank god he doesn't follow me inside and ask to sit with me. Kinda freaky. Then when I get back it's getting close to time to close. The bartender tells the cop (not a rent a cop, real. That should have been my first clue) that I'm with him and I should stay at the end of the bar. Cop's cool with it. I stay until the bar is pretty empty. Then there's a shooting down the street.
That's right, SHOOTING. As in DEAD BODY. The cop cars roll up. Paramedics show up. Yeah, whole bit.
Then the new manager kicks out all non-employees. Yeah, out into the cold where SOMEONE WAS SHOT EARLIER. The bartender begs me not to go, says he'll keep an eye on me. But by 3 AM with him not leaving I get PISSED. And freaked. I start to walk home because no cabs are picking me up with the cops and the paramedics around.
Now it turns out he gets out and comes and picks me up but a few issues present themselves
Problem 1 If your boss was new and you weren't able to stand up to him, you shouldn't have invited me.
Problem 2 Someone was shot. Don't tell me I have to stay and hang out and then send me outside with freaky drunk bouncers to hang.
Problem 3 If you aren't able to get out on time and someone is waiting OUT IN THE COLD then tell your boss "One minute man, my friend is waiting for me and I'm going to make sure she gets a cab and gets home safe." Be a Man.
Problem 4 If you are going to have a party clear it with your neighbors so when you and your friends are playing music you don't have the apartment security show up and people have to hide. Because the next noise complaint gets you kicked out. Yeah, that was impressive.
And he wanted me to stay over. In the same bed. I got a cab and went home because really, I let him blow 3 dates worth of chances in one night.
I get hungry (Quiet Everyone) and go to get us food. I get FOLLOWED by some guy all the way to my destination. Thank god he doesn't follow me inside and ask to sit with me. Kinda freaky. Then when I get back it's getting close to time to close. The bartender tells the cop (not a rent a cop, real. That should have been my first clue) that I'm with him and I should stay at the end of the bar. Cop's cool with it. I stay until the bar is pretty empty. Then there's a shooting down the street.
That's right, SHOOTING. As in DEAD BODY. The cop cars roll up. Paramedics show up. Yeah, whole bit.
Then the new manager kicks out all non-employees. Yeah, out into the cold where SOMEONE WAS SHOT EARLIER. The bartender begs me not to go, says he'll keep an eye on me. But by 3 AM with him not leaving I get PISSED. And freaked. I start to walk home because no cabs are picking me up with the cops and the paramedics around.
Now it turns out he gets out and comes and picks me up but a few issues present themselves
Problem 1 If your boss was new and you weren't able to stand up to him, you shouldn't have invited me.
Problem 2 Someone was shot. Don't tell me I have to stay and hang out and then send me outside with freaky drunk bouncers to hang.
Problem 3 If you aren't able to get out on time and someone is waiting OUT IN THE COLD then tell your boss "One minute man, my friend is waiting for me and I'm going to make sure she gets a cab and gets home safe." Be a Man.
Problem 4 If you are going to have a party clear it with your neighbors so when you and your friends are playing music you don't have the apartment security show up and people have to hide. Because the next noise complaint gets you kicked out. Yeah, that was impressive.
And he wanted me to stay over. In the same bed. I got a cab and went home because really, I let him blow 3 dates worth of chances in one night.
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